Critics:

In both my lines of work, food service and music, critics play a major role.  Music and food critics can shape a product or a person's reputation for better or for worse.  They analyze, they judge, and then they broadcast their opinions via website, newspaper, magazine or tv show to the general populace, and their opinions can play a large role in making or breaking someone.

But who are they?  What gives them the right to be the authority on what is good or what is bad?  Who died and made them the be all and end all of what people should and shouldn't buy or eat? In my opinion, for the most part....NOTHING!

Now before I go any further I am well aware of the irony that I write a blog and and running my mouth about other people who do the same or similar things.  The major difference between me and them is that I actually work in both areas that I am talking about, and am fairly proficient and skilled n both cooking and music.  So my opinion is more educated, and frankly i think most of my criticisms are more founded and thought out.  Also I don't get paid for doing this. 

I would like to also state before I get into full blown rant mode that there are a few shining stars out there in the critic world.  A few people with actual experience in the industry they are writing about, and possibly an education as well.  However for the most part we got a lot of substitute teachers out there spouting a lot of subjective misinformation to compensate for their feelings of inadequate intellect and really the fact that they suck at most things in life so they want to bring down those that don't suck.

My main problem with critics is that they state opinions as if they were facts.  When writing about your personal experience eating a meal or listening to an album....it's entirely subjective, therefore facts are skewed by your own personal tastes and biases.  You cannot say just because you didn't enjoy the prawn cocktail at said bistro that it's not any good.  You just didn't like it .  Some people may like it.  You cannot say that just because you don't like the guitar tone on the new Anthrax album that it's not any good.  What might not sound good to you might sound good to me (For the record I love what I've heard from the new Anthrax disc).  As Mike Muir from Suicidal Tendencies once said "Just because you don't know what's goin on doesn't mean it ain't no good".  Double negative aside.....that's bang on!

The other thing I hate is how critics all act like snotty little know it alls, cutting down people who are ten times as successful as they.  Take this recent example from the Globe And Mail, Alexandra Gill reviews Ensemble restaurant in Vancouver.  Which if you aren't aware is the new restaurant run by Chef Dale Mackay, the winner of Top Chef Canada.  Here is the link if you want to check it out......

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/food-and-wine/restaurant-reviews/top-chef-winner-triumphs-in-his-own-restaurant/article2092160/print/


Overall she gives a positive review but that's not my point, it's the literary devices and overall spoiled brat attitude that comes across.  Just look at this snobby twit trying to talk like she knows anything!  She's talking to a guy who was on Gordon Ramsay's opening team, was one of Daniel Bolud's top guys, and now has won the biggest cooking show in Canada like she knows better than him how the dishes should be served!  

"This extra note – the layer that separates a top chef from a great chef – is missing from your herb risotto, which is technically excellent – loose and creamy – but boring. Same with the roasted beet and fresh ricotta salad, which would be much creamier and delicious if served at room temperature."

Really?  Is that so?  Let me ask where did you do your schooling?  Who did you apprentice under?  What credentials do you have to tell a Top Chef winner how he should be serving his food?

Oh that's right you don't have any, you just write for a newspaper.  Also how can a risotto that is technically excellent be boring? 


"Now the pulled pork sandwich is one you probably should be doing differently in the restaurant. You won this challenge because you were able to use a pressure cooker to pull off a good braise under tight constraints that would be easy for home cooks to replicate. But you’re not cooking at home and you’re no longer pressed for time. Although the sauce is lovely and deeply smoky, your pork butt tastes like a dry sponge."

For one, you are missing the point of the dish.  It's on there because it's a Top Chef winning dish for one, so it's something cool for casual diners and fans of the show to try, and at it's price point is an affordable option.  Also have you ever slow cooked pork butt?  Have you ever educated yourself in southern BBQ?  I'm gonna take a wild shot in the dark and guess that you haven't.  Do you know for a fact that he is not pressed for time?  Do you understand how long it takes to properly slow cook pork butt?  Do you understand how difficult it is to serve something like that hot and fresh in a fine dining setting?  Have you ever attempted something like that?  Obviously not.  You just write for a newspaper.

That brings me to my next point.  Who are these people anyways?  Where did they train?  Where did they go to school?  The answer is....they are WRITERS.  Their job is to sell newspapers.  They don't present good unbiased professional opinions,  they say what they think needs to be said for people to want to read it, sell papers and therefore keep their jobs.   They may be qualified to write but they are certainly not qualified to offer professional opinions on food, music or really anything else they are not trained or experienced in.

If I ran the show, every food critic would have to be a chef or a waiter for at least a year before being allowed to write a column and get paid for it.  Every music critic would have to be in a band. Write, record and release an album, then go sweat it out in the clubs and on tour in front of a real live audience for at least a year before gettin paid to spout off opinions about other peoples hard work.

So what's my point in all this?  Two points.  1) I hate most critics, and have zero respect for about 98% of them in all fields.  2) Please for the love of all that is sacred and good in this world, don't read a critics review of a restaurant, an album, a movie or anything else and base your decision as to whether or not to buy or check out said product around the review.  Use your own brain and senses and go see for yourself.

As Ernest Hemingway once said "Critics are the kind of people who watch a battle from a high place, then come down and shoot the survivors"